..” Her voice became pinched and nearly inaudible as she finished in a whisper, “…so ashamed.”I felt her shoulders shake against me as she began to cry. I reached down to stroke her hair and tried to reassure her. “Well, that’s not so sur-““No, you don’t understand!’ She turned her face up to me again so quickly that she shook my hand off. She took it in one of hers and laid it against her cheek, which was already wet with her tears. Her eyes seemed to plead with me as she went on. ‘That wasn’t the bad part. The bad part was when I realized that…it was turning me on again.” She nodded her head jerkily for emphasis then looked down.“All of it: the fact that I was in there half-naked because I’d masturbated out in the restaurant and stained my skirt; the fact that I’d masturbated because I couldn’t stop thinking about everything we’d done; the fact that I’d been made to feel like a dirty little slut and that I’d willingly participated in the process…and especially the fact that. Karen had to refrain from girl talk with Megan and when I heard typical locker room talk, I had to keep quiet. Here I was sleeping with one of the sexiest women around and I couldn't say a word. There were times when I would have liked to show her off in public just to make other guys envious.When our family would get together for holidays, we had to field questions about dating from grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc. For Karen's birthday I gave her some computer software, to help her with school work, when I really wanted to do something romantic.When she had a bad day, it took everything I had not to take her in my arms and comfort her. It was the same for her also. At times, it did put a little strain on us. Still, our relationship had grown strong enough that we were always able to work through things. The point is, as good as the sex was, it wasn't always easy.My father had also noticed the changes in us. At functions I had started becoming assertive, taking charge of things,.
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